6/11 Top sheet

Unpacking elementary school lore

This interviewee is one of my oldest friends, and we have had a very eventful friendship (luckily, it has calmed as our brains have begun to develop). We met in third grade, and have been in each other’s lives in some capacity since. Top sheet’s next interviewee has not used a top sheet since elementary school, but he used a top sheet the night before the interview for this article. It ended up falling off his bed. He has not thought about top sheets since the fifth grade, until recently, when the idea of an interview for my “top sheet” series was proposed. He had to use three comforters in addition to his top sheet the night before our interview, as there was no heat in the house he was staying at. The word on his mind was cat.

I wanted to ask him about some current hyper fixations, including but not limited to Ariana Grande. He said he had loved her music all his life (since seventh grade) and was hooked after hearing her music on the radio. At the time of this interview, she hadn’t released anything in four years, and he was looking forward to the new album (the album was released March 8, and unfortunately, this interview occurred long before that… sorry for the delay). At this point, he says that if I expected a deep interview, I wouldn’t get it. In my opinion, I proved him wrong. Our next conversation about the Barbie Movie may not be the best example. We had seen the Barbie movie together in the theater, it was my first time seeing it and his second. He loves the soundtrack and describes the movie as an important event. He talked about being impressed by how director Greta Gerwig could make a very entertaining piece of work, which also has a lot of meaning and depth, and fits it into a 90-minute movie. We ventured into a talk about one of my favorite movies that I introduced him to, a fellow Greta Gerwig film, Little Women (we had a Greta Gerwig marathon and rated them, which was controversial), and how not many movies are set up to have a woman end up on her own at the end. In Little Women, Jo ended up with someone who had very little screen time, all of which was very intentional. We spent a good five minutes obsessing over Greta.

When I asked him about his favorite movie of all time, he said Happy Gilmore. When I asked why, he told me that it’s nobody’s favorite movie, which is why it’s his go-to, as he doesn’t have a favorite. But, he remembers watching it when he was young and enjoying it. 

I asked if he enjoyed growing up in Sacramento, and he said he has always felt sort of neutral about it since he never felt particularly proud of growing up here. He says that leaving has given him a new perspective, and he has enjoyed returning and remembering that this is his home. The way he talks about home now that he spends most of his time away in Berkeley is different, as he has used the term “home” for both Berkeley and Sacramento, and they’re kind of interchangeable in that way.  When I asked how his childhood influenced his present self, he responded by saying he didn’t feel old enough to answer that, as he feels like he is still in his childhood. He hasn’t had enough experience to know how his childhood has made him the person he is.

At this point in the conversation, we entered into our 40-minute discussion debriefing our friendship, from third grade to the present. I procrastinated writing this particular top sheet because I loved this conversation but wasn’t sure how much drama to include, especially since we used legal names throughout our conversations and the internet never ends! Fortunately, I have decided to include almost all the drama. Enjoy! 

He remembers us meeting in third grade, but we weren’t close until the fourth grade. Unfortunately, I have no recollection of him being in my third-grade class (I think I’m losing my memory), and he has many more memories from our ten years of friendship than I do, which I’m a little jealous about. We were both in the school newspaper (I laughed about this and he was not very happy about it), and he talked about being in fourth grade and bossing around sixth graders, which probably boosted his ego. He remembers us being “besties” (I agree with this term I just had to put it in quotes because of the spellcheck) in fourth and fifth grade, and remembers being close with me and one of my closest friends at the time, and it being fun. Sixth grade was rough, and we decided we could probably talk about it for another 22 minutes (we were 22 minutes in at this point). The experience of having an elementary school girlfriend likely shaped the person he is today. It lasted a long month and a half and put things into perspective for him. His girlfriend, let’s call her Pam, taught him that if he’s in a bad position, it can only get worse. I had a crush on him while he was dating Pam, and Pam was very mad and didn’t want me talking to him. He also described sixth grade as our “golden age.” We went to the market every Friday, we’d get Snapples and go to the park with lots of friends, and proceed to do whatever sixth graders do. He broke up with Pam twice over text this year, since they ended up getting back together after two weeks. He also remembers my identity crisis in sixth grade– going from Isabela to Izie to Bela in two years. I have finally settled, and still sometimes question my decision on a name. 

Middle school was rough. We didn’t have classes together, so there was a period when we weren’t very close. We had a lot of non-ideal things in middle school (instigated by me having no idea how to deal with my emotions). In sum, he would make nice gestures when we liked each other, and I would be very dismissive of them even though I felt the same way. We ended eighth grade on a good note but didn’t talk much through high school. Apparently, he was just a bad texter and not mad (I believe him but I would have been quite frustrated). He talked about having a math teacher in high school who didn’t like him and kept failing him, which meant he got his phone taken away a lot. We started talking a little more during quarantine when I instigated a conversation about Taylor Swift. 

Of course, we pivot again into a Taylor Swift talk, when he reveals that he didn’t like her at the time, so apparently, he lied about telling me he did (groundbreaking). He said that maybe he was manifesting it into existence, since now he loves her album folklore. His favorite song from folklore is the 1, and he enjoyed watching the eras tour documentary and explaining the fictional love story that takes place in folklore to his mom. He coaches debate and uses the love triangle example for the high schoolers he works with. From what I understood, the strategy has to do with reading lots of arguments, but in the last speech, you only talked about one. It would be hard to explain how this connects to the album if you aren’t familiar, so I won’t attempt it, but the Taylor Swift/debate crossover was very enlightening. 

Going back to high school, we agreed to hang out many times and it never happened, which he admits was probably on him. However, I am persistent, so I’d keep texting him even though he wasn’t responding very quickly (this seems to be a common theme throughout our friendship after finding some fifth-grade texts on my first phone). We somehow ended up in a conversation about maritime international treaties after this. So far, this is the longest top-sheet conversation in the books. 

When I asked if he had any regrets, he said there were little things, like not responding to me more in high school (guys I’m not making this up I promise he said it). When applying to colleges, he would apply to better ones, since he got into schools he didn’t think he would. Overall, he doesn’t have any significant regrets, as he’s content with his life. There are things he could have potentially done or changed to be a happier person, but right now, he’s happy enough. In general, he is optimistic about his future and where he is right now.

“I’m proud of the fact that I can consider my life and know that the thing I will be most proud of is something that hasn’t happened yet.”

The word he is thinking of now is Christmas (he was very stressed coming up with this answer).

Thank you for reading lovely people! I cannot wait to keep interviewing and writing and learning more about the lives of old friends and new friends. I will see you this weekend for some new fun stuff… 

Cheers,