Happy spring! Today’s my nineteenth birthday, and I wanted to post something slightly related. This post started out as “19 things I learned by 19,” but I quickly realized that I would not be able to complete the list. I’m not sure if it’s because I haven’t learned 19 things that seemed interesting enough to share, or because my brain wasn’t working quickly enough, but I figured this would be more fun anyways.
I’m updating this post because after talking to my therapist recently, I realized that I have definitely learned 19 things. Some of them have just been less objective. But that doesn’t mean that this year hasn’t been the most full of growth out of any year yet. But, things I love still seemed more fun for now, and I might pursue the other idea another time!
This past year has been one of embracing good moments whenever they come, and soaking up every ounce of sunlight. It’s been Italy and Scotland and bread and cats and frozen ponds and public transit and naps and sickness and late nights in the library. I am very grateful for eighteen, and just as grateful that it is over. The passing of time is such an odd feeling, as part of me feels like I was just sixteen and in high school. People told me that college went by quickly, but I don’t think I fully believed them. I do now, because when I look back on it, it feels like a blur, even though certain days drag by, and nights tend to feel endless when you can’t fall sleep or when your dreams wake you up in the middle of the night.
Without further ado, here are nineteen things I have learned to love, or love even more, by nineteen. Along with the stories behind some of them!
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Snow
I hadn’t lived in a place where it snows regularly until this year. There’s something about watching snow fall from inside, out the windows, that can’t be compared to anything. I’m kind of glad that I’m only now living somewhere a little snowy, because I am quickly growing to love it. I’m still a sun lover first and foremost, but something about the snow is indescribably beautiful.
Snow in our kitchen window (taken by Tess) Celebrating birthdays
I got to celebrate so many birthdays this year, old and new friends. There’s something so gratifying and lovely that comes with making someone a birthday cake or getting them a gift, just making them a card even, that makes my heart so much happier than the day before. I went to sleep happy on the birthdays of all my dearest friends this year, because I was confident that they had some joyful moments throughout their day. One of my favorite birthdays was my best friend’s. We planned a trip to the coast and drove out, stayed the night, and stood on the beach as the sun set. Her happiness was contagious the entire time.
Birthday cake for Tess’s 19th Funny tee shirts
I probably don’t need to say too much about this one, since I feel like it speaks for itself. I love wearing tee shirts that make people do a double take, and this one is probably my favorite at the moment. This year, especially since getting to school, I have enjoyed taking my outfits and clothes much less seriously. I still love picking outfits and second-hand shopping (a little too much), but I wear some wacky stuff now because nobody ever cares as much as we think they do!
Live music
I’ve always loved live music. Part of that has been going to concerts with my family since I was young, so I grew to love being in a room with blasting music and singing at the top of my lungs. This year, I’ve gone to some amazing live music. Noah Kahan, The Lumineers, Adam Melchor, Ella Jane, plus many orchestra concerts, where I’ve gotten to experience my immensely talented friends playing heavenly tunes. It’s equally exhausting and exhilarating, and I cannot wait to see more artists live.
Little Avett Brothers fan begging for her favorite song Doc Martens
My parents got me these when they visited for parents’ weekend in October, and I broke them in quickly by wearing them everywhere for a week (only one blister). Portland is cold and rainy a lot, and these shoes are perfect for that climate. They also go with every outfit ever, and I wore no other shoe for months. They are still my favorite shoes without a doubt, and they’ll always remind me of October.
Reuniting with loved ones
Sof surprising me at the airport for fall break Waking up at sunrise
I’ve always loved sunsets, and made a point of going on walks around my neighborhood to find the best places to see them. This year, there were a few days I woke up for sunrise, either by accident or because of morning obligations. At the beginning, I didn’t look forward to it, as the thought of waking up while it’s still dark outside isn’t appealing to our minds or bodies, since we were built to be in sync with the sun. However, there’s something about a sunrise that is so quiet and calm. Sometimes it lasts longer too, and the longer it draws out, the luckier we are.
Tillamook, Oregon Train rides
I took the train from Portland to Seattle this fall, and the ride was so beautiful. I listened to music, read, and mostly just looked out the window. It’s a really relaxing feeling, as you’re in control of where you get on and off of the train, but not much else. Once you’re settled, it feels like you’re the passenger on a scenic road trip, and you’re always on aux.
Roadtrips with friends
Baking cakes for loved ones
Naps
I used to be very opposed to naps, just because I woke up feeling groggy and felt more tired for the rest of the day. Everything changed this year. Being in college has been exhausting, mostly emotionally and socially. So, if I get back to the dorm and I’m feeling tired, I will probably nap, regardless of other somewhat pressing obligations. If the nap is accompanied by an animal, it’s always better, and I can’t wait to sleep in the same bed as my dog again this summer.
Cats
Instead of growing old with a house of dogs, I will grow old in a house full of dogs and a couple cats. They are angels (mostly), and I can’t wait to have one of my own. I love dogs, but I think I understand cats. They just don’t like too much attention sometimes, they need space and solo adventures. Pretty much, I may come back as a cat. Only time will tell
Me & Rebel, a sweet kitten I got to look after Scotland
My best friend and I took a trip to London and Scotland this summer. We both loved London, but fell absolutely in love with Scotland by the first day, and didn’t want to leave. The people there were so welcoming and sweet, and it was one of the most gorgeous towns I have ever been to. It was so green, and the architecture felt unreal. I look at this picture all of the time, and I yearn to be back to Scotland soon. I think about moving there at some point in my life frequently, as I feel like it would be a lovely place to live. The bookstores were also so wonderful.
Dean’s Village in Edinburgh, Scotland Jumping into cold water
Eastern Sierras with Holly Trees
In kindergarten, the whole class wrote down something we were grateful for and our teacher laminated them and made them into a small book for most people to bring home. Most people wrote the name of a family member, a friend, or a pet. I wrote trees. So, this one is definitely not a new development, but my love for these brilliant creatures continues to grow along with them.
Taking pictures of my dog when she looks like a human
Expressing gratitude through little arts and crafts
These notes were for teachers during teacher appreciation week at my high school, last May. We worked hard on decorating doors, writing notes, and giving out coffee and pastries to teachers and they were so grateful for the small, sweet gestures. People deserve to know and be reminded not only that they are loved, but why they are loved, and all the things they are doing right, despite what they might believe.
Stacks of books
I promise I will read them all eventually
Tattoos
A way to express myself outwardly, through art on my body. Even if I “outgrow” a design or symbol, I remember getting each of them and have positive associations with those days. I didn’t expect to receive so much feedback from people- most positive, and some negative. It definitely hurt at first, hearing people critique what I had chosen to do with my body. It doesn’t really anymore, though, because those are ultimately my decisions to make. I have realized that no matter what I do, I will be unhappy if I try to please everyone, because there will be nothing left to do for myself. I’ve gotten eight tattoos this past year, and I love all of them deeply. They are reminders of the people and places I love, and inner and outer strength.
Fun read 🐝! Enjoyed sharing your 19 with you…👍🏻😊❤️
u are so eloquent bday girl 🌟